Fifty Shades of Grey narrated by Gilbert Gottfried
OH WOW SO WRONG
You know your show is truly great once Julian Glover has guest starred in it. But it only reaches untold heights of magnificence, if you dress him like this.
Why aren’t adverts on buses like this anymore?
If there was a “So, you think you’d like to write slashfic?” welcome pack, this could be the front cover picture. Or at least the illustration for the chapter “The Past May Be A Foreign Country But They Don’t Do Things THAT Differently There - or - Please Remember The Lube”.
Oh yeah this is where I’m supposed to post my art now, whoops.
This is what happens when I watch Man From U.N.C.L.E. while sleep deprived.
And then I found this thing. And now I am laughing and crying at once. No really. Tears in my eyes.
Boys. Get a room.
*snortcackle* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breathes* HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAA HA!
OH MY GOD
My father is a very intelligent man, but he is also extremely curious and prides himself on being observant. This would be his downfall.
1. Get a friend to book me a trip to Washington, or at least make a good facsimile of a boarding pass from old used ones. Leave the reservation where it can be seen by my mother.
Make sure the friend has the most absolutely contrived and/or bland name possible. I have a friend named Matthew Smith. He would do nicely.
2. Make sure gossip about suspicious activities in Washington gets back to Papa.
My dad and his cousin Tony take every opportunity to talk, holing up in corner tables at every family gathering available. His daughter works as an analyst at the CIA. If I can’t contrive to pass her on the street, I would enlist her help by having her tell Tony that she saw a girl just like me leaving the building as she returned from lunch, but that it couldn’t be me since the girl’s hair was too short. Bonus points if I can make my dad see me wearing a short wig without engaging.
3. Allow Papa to see me teaching his grand children self defense.
Which is something I do anyway.
4. Leave old plane tickets for trips my dad doesn’t know I’ve taken where he can get them.
I went to Costa Rica two years ago. While Papa knew I was gone, he thought I was in New York. He thinks that my first trip out of the country was to Switzerland last summer.
All in all, I think I could do it. Hee hee hee.