So it turns out I’m not bad at 2048.
Which is to say I got the 4096 tile. (You can set the game to unlimited play.) (It’s grey.) And scored 76248 points.
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data."
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.
I will always reblog this. Always.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone.
At every step, every gust of wind, I’d like to be able to say ‘Now..’, no longer ‘forever’ and ‘for eternity’. To take the empty seat at a card game and be greeted by others, even if just with a nod. It would be nice to come home after a long day and feed the cat like Philip Marlowe, or to have a fever, or get your fingers black by the newspaper. To be excited not just by the mind, but by a meal, the curve of a neck. To lie! Through one’s teeth! To feel your bones as you walk along. For once just to guess instead of always knowing…
Wings of Desire (1987), Wim Winders
"The Girls of Nazarone Affair"
There actually is no context for this
Sure there’s context. The context of You’ll let me get away with mocking you for a failed mission that wasn’t really a failure because…
The context of Well if I’m gonna be transgressive I MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY
ZOMG YOU GUYS.
So all of the local booksellers know me? Primarily because I’ve been an employee in the Booktown association for many years, and secondarily because I buy more than a dozen books a month — and at this point, most of them are aware of my burgeoning T.E.L obsession.
One of them just called me to say, “Hey, are you still looking for a copy of The Mint? Because I have #788 of the limited run here for you.”
Reader, I screamed.
But dude! Following you now JUST to watch someone other than myself start shipping T E with the moon……..
I spent the day variously:
- listening to the Seven Pillars of Wisdom audiobook whilst working on my WWI blackwork piece;
- buying books about WWI and T.E. Lawrence;
- talking with fellow Lawrenceophiles (what is the nomenclature for the T.E.L. obsessed, anyway?) over Tumblr;
- and answering my…
1. Which audio book do you have? I have the unabridged Audible one, and HILARIOUSLY, the reader’s voice is the same as the text-to-speech function on my phone. Which means I got to hear my Lawrence fic in the same voice as my Seven Pillars…….
2. Loads of approval. Do you have any of the collections of his letters? They’re entrancingly delightful and hilarious.
3. I just call myself a fan….
1. I have the unabridged Naxos one, which is probably the same as the Audible version? Roy McMillan is a marvel — I could listen to him all day. (Also: LOL!)
2. I do! I have only the Brown collection currently, and I’m waffling over whether the Garnett version is worth the money, since there’s a lot of overlap. Here’s hoping someone will one day undertake a massive conservation and publishing project regarding his letters and miscellaneous unpublished notes. I’d die of happiness if there was some day a multi-volume collection along the same lines as The Letters of Virginia Woolf, etc.
I’d say grab the Garnett if it isn’t too awfully expensive. It has bits and pieces of the notes for continuing The Mint, titled Leaves on the Wind. And some of those letters not in Brown are absolute treasures, seriously.
Also, grab the Letters To Lawrence if you ever can. It’s cross referenced to Garnett, so you can go back and forth between him and EMF. It is DELIGHTFUL.